Learn to Date Yourself

My husband and I are both musicians and teachers and often have dramatically different schedules.  A comforting and familiar part of our routine as one or both of us heads out the door in the morning is the question, "When will I see you again?" If we're lucky, it's before 7pm. More often, it's 9:30 or later.  The wonderful thing about my marriage is that we're both content to spend a day on our own and enjoy the companionship and coziness of coming back together at night.  Our nightly TV and couch dates are one of my favorite things in life. 

When I mention to friends that I went to a recent movie or had lunch by myself, they often exclaim "I could never do that!"  I am constantly surprised by the idea that an adult woman would not know the joy or even feel comfortable with going on a date with herself.  My schedule is absolutely crazy this year, but I have purposefully carved out two (sometimes three!) small windows of time each week that are just for me. Today, I used the first part of my time window to go on a simple, inexpensive Artist Date and I'm now using the last part of it to write this blog post.  I hope you enjoy going on my little date vicariously and that it sparks ideas for you take yourself out sometime this week!

I love eating lunch at Pei Wei.  The corner booths are perfect for spending time writing in my journal and enjoying a light lunch that's pretty tasty.  Every time I have the vietnamese chicken salad rolls, I wish I had a way to make peanut sauce as yummy as Pei Wei's.

You know what? There's no time like the present.  Let me google peanut sauce recipes... Ha! There's actually a site that has the Pei Wei recipes themselves.  You never know until you ask, do you? Click HERE for the link in case you're interested.  On my way out, I grabbed some ice water and a fortune cookie to go.  I try not to eat the cookie, I just like the fortunes :).  

As I try to decide where my small adventure will take me, I glance around the shopping strip by Pei Wei.  I see a Half-Price Books and remember my very first Artist Date back in January of 2010.  I had a twenty dollar bill in my wallet and I told myself that I would get an interesting lunch and then let myself buy something at Half-Price Books that had nothing to do with flute, music, school or anything responsible.  I tried to loosen up and let go of any rules in my mind.

On that first Artist Date, I got a mango smoothie from the Smoothie King next to Half-Price Books and then went inside.  I ended up purchasing an ancient computer game, SIMS, that I remember playing on my mom's computer years ago.  Long story short, I spent weeks designing little houses when I need a break from homework or practicing.  It seemed so cheesy at the time, but I think I was actually softening my mind and starting the flow of creative juices that led me to my clear-headed, creative, joyful mindset today.  I truly am a different person than I was on that first Artist Date.

Today, I decide to go in and just explore.  I am far more adept at letting my imagination wander than I was a couple of years ago, so I am not embarrassed even a little bit to look in the teen fiction section.  I am simply amazed at the amount of teen fiction revolving around vampires.  My husband and I love to watch True Blood, but I'm not a Twilight fan.  It does remind me that I've been curious about Anne Rice's vampire novels.

In another teen fiction display with even more vampire novels, I see Specials by Scott Westerfield.  A while back, I read Uglies when a middle school flute student recommended it to me.  It was actually an incredibly insightful and poignant story.  In a futuristic society, teenagers are forced to become "Pretties" by having massive amounts of space age type cosmetic surgery.  I applaud the author for getting teenagers to consider the topics of vanity vs. self-esteem and conformity vs. individuality.  Seeing Specials reminds me that I wanted to follow up on that trilogy. 

I have always had a soft spot for Dr. Suess.  The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and Horton Hatches the Egg are my favorites.  I feel a wave of "warm fuzzies" when I glance at the titles on this shelf (below).  Dr. Suess, Theodore Geisel, is also responsible for one of my favorite quotes (from Oh! The Places You'll Go!). 

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go....  

Next, my attention is captured by books about the human body.  My friend and mentor, an amazing eighty-two year old woman with a young spirit and creative teaching techniques, uses a giant book of illustrations to teach her students about breathing and other physical elements of flute playing.  I make a mental note to collect great pics from the internet so that I can have them available for my students. This makes me ponder the idea that book stores are lovely, nostalgic places, but I wonder how long they will still be part of our lives? 

The prices on magazines here can't be beat.  I went through a visualization phase earlier this year and bringing home stacks of magazines from Half-Price Books made for the best vision boards!  If you've never done a vision board, click HERE for a link to get you started.  They are very fun, and I think they really work!  

This beautiful poster of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott brings up mixed emotions in me.  I love the story and used to love the movie with Claire Danes as Beth and Winona Ryder as Jo.  The scene after Beth dies when Jo places rose petals on the bed is exquisitely heart breaking.  The music in that scene has always stayed with me.  

  

Seeking good deals and a lighter heart, I head to the Clearance Section.  Check out the price drop on this Martha Stewart cookbook!  I carried it around for awhile, pleased with my found bargain, but ultimately put it back on the shelf.  Even if it's only $3, I can find lots of Martha Stewart recipes for free online (with lots more gorgeous food photos!). 

I love flipping through old records, mostly to look at the beautiful album covers.  I don't own a record player, but I'm old enough to have an appreciation for the special sound elicited from vinyl.  I took a quick pic of this humorous cover of a singer I'd never heard of before (I don't think it was meant to be funny, but I couldn't resist a smile).  I'm curious now, so I will look her up on youtube...  

Oh!  I found a nice video of her singing Angel of the Morning.  I know the song but didn't know Juice Newton.  Click HERE to learn about the history of the song. Flipping through more albums, I found soundtracks to classic films.  I love old eighties movies, especially Pretty in Pink. 

Satisfied with a few new ideas, some pretty pictures and a more relaxed state of mind, I headed to leave the store, pleased that I hadn't spent money.  I couldn't help it, however, when I noticed a 2013 calendar display right by the exit.  How could I leave without a beautiful, half-priced, Kelly Rae Roberts calendar with big, full pages of her amazing art?  Click HERE if you haven't seen her art, yet!

On my way to the library, where I am currently typing this post, my brain was so sensitive to beauty and meaning from my Artist Date.  The sky seemed bluer, the music on the radio more lovely and even the cars and street signs somehow seemed more meaningful and artistic.  A ladybug on my passenger window was a brilliant shade of red (unfortunately couldn't take a pic because I was driving).  I was even sort of fascinated by this big digging thingamabob on the side of the road.  While parked at a stoplight, I took a pic and was thinking of some kind of brilliant analogy having to do with digging into the soul, mining for ideas, clearing space for beauty - well, you get the idea.  

I hope you enjoyed going to Half-Price Books with me!  To learn more about Artist Dates, watch the video HERE.  They can brighten your day, become a catalyst for change or creativity and make you a better version of yourself.  I urge you to feel not just comfortable being on your own, but to take pleasure in the myriad delights that are around every corner, just waiting for you!  Please share - when do you think you'll make time for your next Artist Date?